My Darkest Secret

First of all – I love a good, dark chocolate.

Don’t get me wrong- creamy milk chocolate can be absolutely delightful at the right time.  But there’s something more interesting about the tanginess and bite of a chocolate in the 65-80% cacoa range. 

Although…in this age of gourmet elitism, when darker is always better, I find myself wondering if there is such a thing as too dark…

Ok, here’s an illustration.  Has this ever happened to anyone else?  I know I can’t be the only one with this particular childhood memory: 

It’s 1980-something, and I get to help Mom make brownies!  I pull up a chair and climb up on the counter.  I lick my lips in anticipation as the wrapper comes off the chocolate bar.  “Can I have a taste?” I ask innocently, flashing my irresistable puppy dog face.

“You won’t like it,” my mom warns sweetly.

Uhh, hellooo.  It’s chocolate, right?  …Crazy lady.

So with mouth open wide, I plop in a piece of the black, glossy temptation – only to very quickly realize something is amuck.  And so I learn the difficult lesson of a tricky little character named UNSWEETENED baking chocolate who masquerades as the good stuff to unsuspecting children who can’t yet read. 

 My mom laughs as I gag dramatically (that crazy lady…).  I am not so amused.

Fast forward to 2007.  My little brother, who is very sweet and who knows my interests well, gives me a few nice chocolate bars.  Among them is this gem:

This big guy features “99% Cacoa” in bright, shiny, gold letters written across the front.  Wow, that’s probably pretty intense…

Open up the package and you’ll see this really scary label on the wrapper:

Yep, these are indeed instructions on how to taste the chocolate safely.  Instructions on how to partake of its complexity without having to rush to the sink, one’s mouth dripping from the sides with black goo like a zombie from 28 Weeks Later. (What’s that? No, of course this didn’t happen to moi!)   

According to this label, the best way to relieve the potential trauma to unsophisticated taste buds is to quickly wash the chocolate down with a big gulp of soothing black coffee. 

Needless to say, my palate is apparently not “developed” enough to withstand the Lindt 99.  Or at least not enough to honestly say I enjoyed it. 

I want to have a discerning palate, though.  I want to be a proper chocolateuse. 

But at the end of the day, I’m afraid that bitter, burning sensation on the tongue will probably always transform me into a five year old who has accidentally picked up the wrong baking bar. (Geez, that crazy lady…)

Does anyone else think enough is enough…or am I just a wimp?  (You can say it).  Any suggestions on developing my palate?

Origin of the Name

So when I named this blog, the first words out of my guy’s mouth were, “I don’t get it.” 

Of course, he has seen me use my double boiler many, many times.  He just never put a name to the face.  And of course, the two or three of you reading this blog are most likely fans of chocolate and probably already know all about the double boiler.

But for any newcomers- and because I love talking about cookware – let me introduce you to my own beloved double boiler.  He was given to me by my guy.  (Yes, the same guy who didn’t know what a double boiler actually was.  But he learned.  What a sweetie…)

 

Ta Da!  This is where the chocolate magic starts.

Oh, and here is my double boiler’s great-grandmother.  She was a wedding gift to my parents, and I first began my chocolate experimentation with her years ago:

So here’s how a double boiler works.  You simmer 1-2 inches of water in the lower saucepan and place chopped-up chocolate in the upper saucepan.  The steam from the lower pot gently heats the bottom of the upper pot.  This way, the chocolate melts much more gradually than if it were melted directly on top of a burner.

You see, chocolate burns verrrry easily.  I don’t know if you’ve ever put some chocolate in a saucepan, turned on the heat, left the room for a minute to answer the phone, and then come back to discover a bunch of grainy lumps floating in it.  Quite depressing.  And there’s really nothing you can do about burned chocolate, either.  Once it’s bumpy, it’s goin’ in the trash.

With a double boiler, it’s almost impossible to burn your chocolate, which is nice.  But you don’t need to go out and buy one if you don’t want.  You can improvise a double boiler by setting a stainless steel mixing bowl atop a saucepan.  Just make sure the bottom of the mixing bowl does not actually come in contact with the simmering water below. 

And also be careful about keeping any drops of water/condensation out of the chocolate.  (As we all know, oil and water do not mix.  And the cocoa butter in chocolate does not like water, either.)

Another way to make the chocolate melting process more gradual is to remove the upper saucepan from the heat before all the pieces of chocolate are melted.  Just continue stirring (a rubber spatual or scraper works best), and the heat from the liquid chocolate will melt the remaining solids. 

There are few things in this blessed world more beautiful than silky, glossy, hot, dripping melted chocolate.  Mmmm…

Hey there!

Hi, welcome to my blog!  I’m K!

 I grew up in southern coastal Virginia near the beach.  Here’s a view of the river in my hometown:

 

During college I lived in Philadelphia and became a city girl… (with my  three amazing rommates)

 

…only to later move to a small town in the Appalachians where I now work at a search engine marketing agency and practice my chocolate recipes.

Oh yeah, I looove chocolate.

Oh yeah, and I have possibly the cutest, sweetest guy ever. (Just to brag a little…)

If you’d like to know all the gritty details of my transformation from metropolitan Ivy Leaguer to small town twenty-something searching for the meaning of life through chocolate, you can read about it in the tab entitled “My Life (So Far).”